Memorial Day is not just a date for many who have worn the uniform or are connected to the military community. It’s a feeling, a sacred time, and a flood of names—a weight we carry in our bodies, our memories, and our silence.

For me, it’s Kim.
It’s Murray.
And it’s Kate.

Dr. Kate Hendricks Thomas. Marine. Scholar. Friend. Sister. Kate was not just someone I knew. She was someone I trusted with my heart. Right before Kate’s death, from toxic exposure related to her service, I made her a promise: I will keep telling your story. I will not let us forget you. That promise lives in everything I do—as a Veteran, a spouse to a retired combat Veteran, a mother, a community member, and yes, as a death doula. Just last month, I found myself sitting in silence with a stream of tears as I paused to honor her life on the anniversary of her death.

Here’s what I know for sure: Grief is not linear. It doesn’t arrive on time or leave when asked. It lingers, loops, and lives beside us. In a culture that tells us to “move on,” I believe in the pause. In honoring. In creating spaces where grief is allowed to be.

That’s why Grief Dialogues: Memorial Day matters. Because art has the power to say what we cannot. It allows space for healing. Most of all, it invites hope. H.O.P.E. is central to our gathering, hearing other people’s experiences, because healing begins with listening and witnessing.

This Memorial Day, I invite you to hold space with us, not just for those we have lost but for one another. If you’re unsure how to show up on this day, know this: You do not need perfect words; your presence is enough.

Here are a few ways to honor those we have lost this Memorial Day:

• Speak their names.
• Sit in silence– let it say what words cannot.
• In the community, ask gently, “Who are you remembering today?”
• Create something sacred– a tribute, a candle, a wall of remembrance.
• Avoid “Happy Memorial Day.” This is a day of honor, not celebration.
• Remember families and friends. They carry grief, too.

So, this Memorial Day, may we gather indeed! In remembrance, reflection, and love.

For Kate. For Kim. For Murray.
For all of them.